Where was i? Oh yes.

Yeah so...being treated nicely for once did come as a bit of a shock lol.
Even my mum, who had witnessed not only my awful taste in men, but the aftermath, fetching me from hospital, sobbing her heart out because she thought 'the next time she would come to collect me, it would be in a box' sitting there with me crying my eyes out having found out i'd been cheated on, and she was quite rightly worried about this 'new arrival' and how long it would be before he showed his true colours, so reserved judgement for quite a while. One day she came to me, held my hand and said, "The light is back in your eyes, i never thought i would see that in you again..you have done well and i'm really proud of you and i like **** very much. I see how happy he makes you." And hugged me so tight i could hardly breathe.
Well for someone like my mum, very reserved when it comes to showing affection, it came as a proper surprise. I couldn't hold myself together and burst into tears. Lol. How embarrassing. But the truth is, i was happy she had accepted him if i'm honest.
I myself had never felt so loved, respected and cared for. I also felt safe and completely trusted my partner too.
I am one of lifes' loving people, i trust until i have no reason to, i try to be nice to everyone, i try never to be mean or unkind, and i am openly affectionate..i mean, why should i give a toss if people are around or looking when i tell someone i love them, hold their hand or give them a cuddle? My partner mis-sold me a product here..as when i started going out with him i was very open about how i am, and he said he was the same, well, later on of course it transpired that that was a bit of a fib lol.
Anyway. Back to christmas 2006..about two weeks after i started going out with my partner. As i mentioned before, he has children. Well the day i was due to meet them, i do not mind admitting i was a complete mess and a proper bag of nerves. "What if they don't like me?" i asked my mum.
"What is there not to like?" my sister asked.."Nicki, you are a really nice person and those kids will love you as much as michael and rachael do."
And she was right, i love my partners' kids as if they were my own. Ok, that is a very easy thing to say but it is true, although it would probably prove to make things more difficult later on.
I found i loved them that bit more because i loved him so much, after all, you would love something that is a part of someone YOU loved wouldn't you?
I listened when he talked about his past, and really felt for him and the kids. They seemed to have been through so much. Ok so he wasn't as willing to listen to me, but i didn't mind. My past was my past after all.
Slowly i found myself giving in and allowed myself to love this person. Completely and without reserve. I opened my heart up to him and for the first time in my life, i wasn't frightened to. And i truly learnt what love felt like. I have told him, time and time again, how until i met him, yes, i thought i loved, and that it was different, say, from the kind of love you feel for your children, but i felt something with this person that made me realise it was the first time i had ever truly loved a man.