Just when you think...

...Everything is ok doesn't something just come along and ruin it all?
Thinking we were over the teething problems, and usual crap, i relaxed into the relationship again. Ok so things were a little different, but i decided that a couple of glitches weren't enough to split us up or cause me to lose trust.
So you can imagine my surprise when, after everything had seemed back to normal, my partner turned round to me one day after spending a couple of days at his sisters, and said, "I am not happy and i do not want to be with you any more."
Shocked wasn't the word lol. So as he drove off, i sat there and thought about the weeks before, had he been acting odd? No.. had i done something wrong? Not that i knew of, and in my opinion, if i had, and he hadn't told me, then it was his problem, not mine. I'm not a mind reader ffs.
Well i decided that i had had enough of being messed around, and deleted his phone number so i couldn't call or text no matter how i missed him or how upset i was. And i in turn heard nothing for a week or so. I carried on going to work as usual, and just made sure i was out early so i didn't have to see him and feel upset.
It wasn't long before i was out on a job and had to phone him though. Miles away and setting up traffic lights that had worked on the morning when they were being tested, but threw a wobbly when expected to work out on the road. Typical. So i let my work partner talk to him instead. Like i pointed out, i was upset and didn't want to speak to him so if andy didn't do it then there would be a bit of stop and go happening lol.
Later on that night when i got home, i had a text from (**) saying why didn't i want to speak to him. I replied, because, you dumped me and i don't want to put myself through that.
The next text said "Well i miss you and i would like to see you"
Bless..it threw me anyway lol. I didn't know what to say. So i left it. Then another message.."Why aren't you talking to me are you still angry with me? I am sorry i dumped you i did not mean to and i want to see you."
Then another message almost straight away.."Please nicki, i do not want to see you with someone else, i could not take it, it would break my heart."
Well, i might have been pissed off but i am not a cold hearted cow so i replied, "Thank you but i do not want anyone else. I wanted you and you dumped me. I do not want to see you or have any more messages off you. Its too painful. I don't know what i did wrong or why you think i am not good enough for you on my own, please leave me alone ok"
Then.."Please..i did not mean to hurt you. I want you to forgive me, please, i miss you. I will not stop texting you until you come back to me ok."
Hmph. How do men know how to get at you?
So i text back, ok.. come over. Flippin eck he must have just been parked round the corner because he was there in like, 20 minutes lol. I will give him 10 out of 10 for that..because he KNEW i didn't want to love anyone else. He bloody knew i would still be there, hurt, but still his.
This has been my downfall through this relationship really.
So, when he turned up, i was so chuffed to see him all i could do was throw my arms round him and say, "Don't say anything ok, i forgive you, all i want is you. I love you"
I couldn't be angry. And i am not one to hold grudges or throw things at people so i did truly just let it go. I didn't care why he did it any more. All i cared about is that he was home.

Lets shoot forward a couple of months now. Everything running along smoothly. My partner did something to his back at work and needed a couple of days off. He left work and went to his sisters. And supposedly to the doctors lol. As it was quiet at work, i asked if i could use the pc. Popped online for a bit, had an email saying '(**) has commented on so-and-so's photo.' So of course, i thought i'd have a look lol. He had said (on a photo of this womans tits) "Nice tattoo, i wish i could see more of it."
By now i was absolutely FUMING ok this woman lived in America and it was a bit of harmless comment but he wouldn't like it if i did it, so going on that, i went out to a collection with one of the lads from work, texted (**) to say that i wasn't very happy about the comment, and got this message in reply..."Shut the fuck up you stupid idiot, she lives in america and i can say what i want to who i want ok. So shut up you stupid cunt and get a life pmsl. Besides i only did it because i knew you would break your neck to see if i had been online."
My reply then was, "Ok, you play your games and i'll play mine."
His reply.."What do you mean??"
Mine.. "You'll see."
His.. "I'm sorry i did not mean to do it it was only a joke i will delete it ok. You know i have nowhere to stay tonight and i have a bad back and my sisters is full because *** is staying, his missus kicked him out."
Mine.. (Angry as hell) "Well join the club cos i have just kicked you out. I'm sick of you hurting me. Fuck off."

Long pause during which i went home and did some shopping, cooked tea, basically all the time he needed to decide he had been a twat. And to decide what to say this time to make it better.

Sure enough.. Beep beep.."Nicki i am really sorry i really don't know why i do these things to you. I know you love me and that is why i keep on hurting you. I am sorry ok. Please just let me stay tonight and i will go tomorrow, i just do not want to sleep in the van."
Jeez, i thought he had been telling porkies..well angry as i was (does this sound familiar now?) i could not let him sleep in the van, i knew how bad his back was. So i phoned him to come over. Are you screaming at the screen yet telling me to toughen up lol.
Well over he came, and the only thing i did that was tough ended up on my ass.. "You can sleep here but i won't sleep with you. I will sleep on the sofa."
:-/ ...... Whats wrong with that picture lol? He does wrong, i am the one putting myself out. Must have been an angel in a previous life. Or a village idiot :-(
Of course, he stayed, and stayed, and then i let it go, again.
There has been other stuff since then, not involving other women (that i know of) but with his losing his temper, swearing at me, putting me down constantly..leaving and staying at his sisters for up to a week before coming back, and i, through everything, just patiently put up with it all.
Then, i found out i was expecting his baby. Strung between thinking "Shit" and "Yaay" what a weird feeling...I told him on the way back from work one day. This is how it came out. He asked me if i was going to have my hair done that weekend. I replied that i wasn't, because colour might not take when you are expecting a baby..
Luckily he managed NOT to crash the van lol.
So he went quiet..and kept looking at me in some odd way. I sat there thinking, "Oh god what is he working up to say?" I needn't have worried. He walked into the kitchen, and horror of all horrors, started washing up .. hmm .. then cooked tea .. hmm ..then came in while i was having a shower, hugged me and said "I am really happy to be having a baby with you sweetheart, i will be good for you ok."